It’s 2.50 pm on a Tuesday afternoon. Baby #7 is sleeping next to me. She’s not fond of her baby bed. She prefers all the noise of our very large and very noisy family. And I am juggling with how I am going to get everything done. Four months after my little lovely’s birth, and I am slowly getting back to “normal.”
But what is normal for a family of seven kids? What worked for two or three didn’t work for four and five. I was only just getting myself in gear for six. One thing I had learnt is not to push myself to hard to fast… that’s a sure fire way to end up in a large mess.
So here I am, four months in, back to my drawing board to work out how to navigate my growing tribe. I subscribe to the idea that even in my family I need to “start with the end in mind.” So here I go..
What core values do I want at work in my family?
In no particular order, honor, personal responsibility, kindness, peace, gratitude, patience and love.
How am I going to build these values in to the hearts of my children?
Honor is a tricky one. Honor to me is about valuing another for who they are. To me this come downs to listening, sharing and encouraging one another. There is also respecting and stewarding what we have – or “looking after our stuff.”
Personal responsibility is easier to define. Quite simply with my kids, this would be taking care of their stuff and completing their work (homework, chores etc). In future it will be them taking responsibility for their lives.
Kindness Patience & Gratitude. I am not sure you can teach kindness without patience, or have patience without gratitude. I think they tie very closely together. I really would like them to show kindness to each other, show gratitude to my husband and I, and exhibit patience with those around them.
Peace is more than calm. For me I am looking my kids to value peace. Quiet time sure, but it probably looks more like harmony and trust. Peace as in a peaceful existence, not looking for drama, demanding attention, but trusting that mum and dad see them, and no need to ”act up” to get attention.
Love is an action. And while I think it’s clear to our kids that my hubby and I love each other, and that we love them, a win here for me would be that they feel loved by one another. I know I know , I am shooting for the moon!
At this point, you may be wondering what my core values have to do with getting on top of my home after a new baby. I use to make long lists, set up routines, weekly planners, to do lists etc. But aside from driving my husband nuts, it didn’t necessarily produce much. It helped me organised what I had to do, but more than anything it often set out unrealistic expectations. If I didn’t get everything done, I felt like I was failing. And I spent a lot of time ”doing” and not as much time “being.”
Over the next couple of weeks I am going to blog about how I create my family plan. How it comes from what I value in my home, and it does link to every day tasks and activities.
raising a tribe 