Tag: Baby

Newborn caring and sharing

My brother-in-law asked me the other day how hubby and I manage new born care. Babies are hard work right? And as a bloke I think it’s a pretty reasonable question. What should he expect?

I do think it’s very different having baby #1 verses #2 or #3. At first I know my hubby was a little at sea with our first. I had baby experience in my teens, lots of babysitting and younger siblings. A new born baby can feel fragile and scary! The sweetest moment came when my hubby fell asleep with baby on his chest at a few days old. They have had a strong connection ever since.

After a few kids, I have noticed that hubby finds babies easier when they are 6 months or so. I asked him about this once and his response was typical and priceless, “Basically till they start smiling and talking and rolling, they just eat and sleep!” He’s right of course. My ma said something that has stuck, “You have 9 months before he even gets to see baby. You might need to give him as much time to adjust.” It’s good advice, a new baby stretches everyone. I had a 9 month head start to be mentally prepared… he has only just met this new person…

I give my hubby a chance to connect with the baby by delegating some part of baby’s routine… even if it’s just playtime or changing nappies. It becomes his thing, and he is often back at work within a month so he doesn’t always get the first smiles or the first dada’s. He would burst through the door ready for his time with baby. This became really helpful when I had toddlers. This meant mummy was free to spend some focused time on them, read a book and have a hug without baby in my arms.

Back to the extremely practical of how we split up new born care:

  • Hubby would bath baby and give me 10 minutes peace
  • Take bubby for walks or drives
  • Hold bubby while I have a walk!
  • Make dinner / do chores
  • Look after the other children while I care for baby
  • This usually lasts for 1-6 months

I did hear a priceless piece of advice from a friend who would express milk and give the weekend night watches to her hubby! If you both have to work during the 1-6 month stage, is a clever way to try and catch more zzz.

For me, expressing and using bottles messed a bit with my milk supply. But ultimately you have to do what’s best for you and your family. My motto is Motherhood should be guilt free… !

I don’t feel the need to push anymore… I just let hubby get to know this new person he is fathering. They build their own connection. I use to worry initially because my connection was stronger to start with, but I find by the time baby is fully interacting with Daddy – I can’t get a look in anyways….. 😂😂😒

Sleep management

How I manage my sleep with a new baby and older kids.

Advice from a mum of seven.

A question a lot of my friends ask is how I handle sleep deprivation when I have little bubba and lots of other kids to deal with the next morning. Honestly it is tough. But here is a few things hubby and I do……

  1. I breastfeed. This is not an opinion. It’s just what I find easier to navigate when I am half asleep.
  2. I keep baby in our room in a bassinet until old enough to sleep in rooms with other kids. The cue for us is when they are sleeping through the night regularly. (Mainly because we don’t have a separate room for baby and their siblings need to be awake at school. )
  3. I don’t require hubby to get up to baby in the middle of the night. However, during the weekend or when he’s not at work, I get the sleep-ins, and try to take naps.
  4. I drink a lot of liquid when I wake up. My mum use to say you should drink 1-2 cups of liquid (water, tea , coffee) after every feed. So if you are breastfeeding overnight you need to replace your liquids as a matter of priority. This is where hubby makes me a cup of tea first thing in the morning to say thank you for getting up to our baby. Why is this a priority you may ask? Simply that it helps to wake up and feel less like I haven’t slept.
  5. I keep the room dark while feeding. This takes a bit of practice. I feed lying on my side. And unless I have to, I don’t change nappy till the morning. This is all in aid of helping baby to know that night is sleep time.

Are there nights when I have to get up? Yes! Is it fool proof? No. But this is what has worked for us when there are other kids to consider. My best advice is to take it slow and be kind to yourself when you have had a rough night. What really helped was identifying that most of my stress, emotions and frustrations were down to the fact I had interrupted sleep for months.

Once I understood that most people with lack of sleep do struggle with life demands, I got better at letting my hubby know I hadn’t slept well and needed a little TLC today myself. Sometimes just saying it out loud and drinking a pot of coffee really does help….